Changing vs. Growing

Ever since I graduated high school, I have practically morphed into a new person. Most people say college is where you truly find yourself, and although I don’t think I know exactly who I am yet, I know that I’ve made a pretty good start.

The little things are what stick out to me the most. When I was in high school, I lived at my parents’ house and didn’t have bills to pay. School was my job. My work started at 6:30 A.M. and ended at 1:55 P.M. when school got out (aside for homework). From 2:15 P.M., I could do whatever I wanted. I did not need to get a job; I did not need to join cross country; I did not need to do anything to support myself, really. I did those things because I had free time, and because I wanted to.

Lately, I’ve been finding that I do things because I need to do them: I need to do the laundry; I need to go grocery shopping; I need to go to work. These blaring needs have been pulling me in three different ways and without knowing it, I changed.

I went from a disorganized, naive girl to a somewhat organized and curious woman. Because I needed to, but also because I wanted to. And it’s taken me three years to figure this out.

All of the papers, exams, work, alarms, schedules, and reminders have pushed in me one direction: forward. Every single job application, rejection letter, personal encounter, award, interview, and opportunity has led me to become this new version of myself. This better version of myself.

And I’ve finally come to the realization that I haven’t changed. I’ve grown.

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